Random Notions and Stories of Teaching

August 10, 2006

Losing it

I am seriously losing whatever was left of my mind.

I cannot sleep!

Since we returned from West Virginia and even while we were there, I have not been able to get to sleep before 2 AM. Usually, I can set my body clock back to "normal" by getting up early one day. This time? Nope!

Get up at 6AM, fall asleep by 2AM.
Get up at 11AM, fall asleep by 2AM.

It makes no difference! I can be tired all day and when bedtime comes it's like someone injected caffeine directly into my veins.

It's not that I'm not tired, either. I want to fall asleep. I will myself to fall asleep and yet, here I am. I'm anxious and antsy and I can't figure out why. Now, I can't sleep and it makes me more anxious. Vicious circle, I swear. I lay down in bed and fight against popping right back out in order to do "something" I forgot or want to do.

I've tried counting sheep. They're loud and the move too fast.

I've tried counting slowly down from 100. I count way too fast.

I've tried counting down from 100 using each breath as a benchmark. I forget what number I'm on, I'm so concentrated on my breathing, and have to start again.

I've tried counting down from 100 in Spanish. Se habla espanol...malo.

I've tried coaxing Ollie onto HH's pillow so his purrs can soothe me to sleep. HH gets annoyed because then he wakes up with a hairball.

I've tried watching tv, I've tried listening to the radio, I've tried showering, I've tried not showering, I've tried reading...

I'm out of ideas! Help!

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