Random Notions and Stories of Teaching

August 03, 2006

A Guide

For all you "city folk" out there or for those who have never experienced kitten hunting, here is my guide to hunting kittens. The more trained professionals you have when you go kitten hunting the better. HH and I usually go it alone, but a third person would make things easier.

It is important to note that since the weather is unbearably hot the kittens have decided that it is better to visit our house after dark. (Who said cats aren't smart?)

A Guide to Kitten Hunting

#1 - Tiptoe to the front door and turn on the porch light. Quickly count the kittens as they scurry into the shadows hoping you don't see them. If there are more than 2 or the orange and white kitten, who I have nicknamed Mango (thanks, Nacho), is out there - proceed.

#2 - Leave the porch light on so that kittens begin to ignore the door and resume their kitten behavior (chasing blades of grass, Mom's tail, each other, etc.).

#3 - Wait several minutes until kittens have forgotten about the light.

#4 - Slip into shoes. If you can wear flip-flops and not make noise, those are a good idea. Be sure you can run in the shoes you pick.

#5 - Silently open the back door. Tiptoe through the garage and go out the screen door. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT let the screen door slam as it closes.

#6 - Tiptoe around to the front of the house. If a car drives by and honks at you, therefore alerting the kittens to your presence, fight the urge to flip them the bird and yell profanities.

#7 - Once you are within 10 feet of the porch, form a game plan. Hunter #1 will skulk to the far side of the porch and cut off the escape around that end of the house. While you will continue to creep forward toward the kitten(s) slowly.

#8 - If the kitten(s) makes eye contact look away immediately and act nonchalant. "Oh, what a beautiful evening."

#9 - Once you are within grabbing distance, again wait for the kitten to become engrossed with other things. If the kitten knows you're there and isn't taking his/her eyes off you, formulate the grab in your mind.

#10 - Grab the kitten by the back of the neck.

If you have the siamese looking kitten - good luck. He's a buzz saw with a tail according to HH. He doesn't like you and he isn't afraid to let you know.

If you have the orange and white kitten (Mango) - hold kitten close and pet gently. He doesn't like you, but he'll put up with the petting if he has to.

#11 - Put some food out to reward any kitten you happened to catch.

#12 - Put said kitten down, watch it flee at top speed, and return to the house. Wait 30 minutes and repeat.

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