Random Notions and Stories of Teaching

April 26, 2006

By a thread

Oh. my. goodness.

I've heard the phrase "lose your shit" before, mostly from here, and while I have always giggled at the expression I hadn't experienced that feeling first hand. I mean, I don't have a cranky baby at home to drive me to the edge.

Until today. It's pretty sad when I get home from work and go out to mow the lawn just to get some peace and quiet.

Today I subbed for a kindergarten class. If there is a warning on the desk about the class when I first walk into the room - I'm somewhat nervous. Fact is, most teachers get fed up with their students at one time or another. Not only that, but a lot of students act differently for a sub than they do their regular teacher. All the little annoying things they do day in and day out aren't annoying to me yet. It's just a difference in personalities and people.

I get a little more nervous when neighboring teachers tell me she has a "difficult" class and to let them know if I need any help.

However, I get extremely nervous when the custodian (THE CUSTODIAN!) tells me that this teacher has a handful.

Oh good gravy, what have I gotten myself into!

This teacher did have a class. Boy did she have a class.

Before lunch, they were pretty good. A few minor incidents such as me telling one little angel that he had to use pencil on his wake-up work not permanent marker. I took the permanent marker from him and he proceeded to pick up a Crayola washable marker. At that point, I took everything that wasn't a pencil out of their supply tray. Geesh!

After lunch...oh my gosh. I was seriously glad their were two college students in the room at the time because it kept me from losing what little sanity I had left. In the space of five minutes, Timmy "accidentally" hit Joey in the back. Joey is wailing at the top of his lungs (crocodile tears) in the hallway. Of course, Joey's mom is in the building that day helping with testing so she pulls him aside to calm him down. Susy wants to sit with Amy but they don't get along and are now fighting. Plus, I have seven children in my face either shouting, coughing, or crying.

Finally we got settled down and managed to trudge through the rest of the day. Not before Angie used a length of paper towels taller than her to dry her hands in the bathroom, Marker Boy from the morning began crying silently instead of telling me he had a tummy ache, and we read Cindrella Skeleton (quite the interesting book).

When I asked the students if this was the way they act for their regular teacher. Noooooo, they all replied. I told them how sad I thought Mrs. would be when she returned and found that I had to leave her a note telling her they didn't listen. One little darling says without missing a beat...

"She'll be mad, too. We always make our substitutes mad and that makes Mrs. mad."

Out of the mouths of babes.


Post a Comment

<< Home