Random Notions and Stories of Teaching

November 15, 2005

Ode to Ohio

You may be from Ohio (pronounced "ah-hi-uh") if:

  • You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange.
  • You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction. (So sad, but true.)
  • You live less than 30 miles from some college or university. (I can think of at least 2 offhand.)
  • You know what a "buckeye" really is, and have a recipe for candy ones. (My mom makes the BEST buckeye candies. You're missing out chocolate and peanut butter lovers.)
  • "Toward the lake" means "North" and "toward the river" means "South."
  • You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
  • "Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall.
  • You measure distance in minutes. (Yep.)
  • Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
  • Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
  • You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. (Uh, that was Saturday.)
  • You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" (Guilty.)
  • You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. (Guilty again. Even after having lived in "big" cities.)
  • You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
  • You carry jumper cables in your car.
  • You know what "pop" is. (Don't you?)
  • You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. (Ahahahahaha!)
  • Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. (Again, sad, but true.)
  • You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
  • The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports. (hehehe)
  • If someone says something you don't understand or hear, you say "Please?"
  • You call it Kroger's even though it is Kroger. (Yep! Even though Kroger is the devil.)
(According to Jeff Foxworthy) :)

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