Random Notions and Stories of Teaching

October 13, 2005

No Child Left Behind: Soccer Version

1. All teams must make the state playoffs, and all must win the championship. If the team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are champions, and coaches will be held accountable.

2. All kids will be expected to have the same soccer skills at the same time and in the same conditions. No exceptions will be made for interest in soccer, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities.

ALL KIDS WILL PLAY SOCCER AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL.

3. Talented players will be asked to work out on their own without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren’t interested in soccer, have limited athletic ability or whose parents don’t like soccer.

4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in the 4th, 8th and 11th games.

5. This will create a New Age of sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimal goals.

If no child gets ahead, then no child will be left behind.

* I changed this to soccer in honor of the hubby. It was formerly football.

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