Random Notions and Stories of Teaching

August 29, 2005


Quick medical update: Hubby instructed me this afternoon to up my pills to 3 a day (I had been taking 2 since Friday). The glucophauge doesn't seem to be helping. My blood sugar isn't astronomical (approx. 130 - 160), but it still isn't right. Yes, I know 130-160 is high, but considering my uncle was hospitalized and they found his bsl was over 500...that is high. Geesh, I never want to get that bad.

I am wondering if I shouldn't just say frack it and get the D and C. Considering that the doc told me my uterus lining was extremely thick, I am figuring that a D and C is the only way that is going to be solved. Hubby made a good point. They need to get the other problems (blood sugar and thyroid) straightened out first because I don't want to have a D and C then need another one later. You better believe when I go to see the new doc on the 15th I am going to mention it. This is getting ridiculous.

Anyway...yesterday wasn't the greatest day. I am back to feeling consistently bad. Cramps from about 11 to 4, where all I can do is lay in bed and wish I were dead. Anyway, last night we decided to go to Cici's for dinner. Stupid me, I asked my father why he put our trashcan in the middle of the driveway instead of just putting it out of the way. Apparently, this pissed him off royally. He started shouting (and cursing) at me. Yelling for me to take him home. So, I turned around and took him home, effectively hurting my mother too. Since she would have to cook because (in her words) we couldn't get along. She's right. I let them out at their house, where he cursed at me some more.

I know I haven't done much this summer. I have spent an entire summer feeling sick. I don't want to do anything. I just want it to go away. Even being sick I did get SOME things done this summer. (I made a list last night, to prove it to me)

1. My mother and I cleaned my house and her house. Now, her house didn't get cleaned as thoroughly as it should have, I admit that.

2. I taught summer school for 3 weeks. I went every day, all day. With the exception of the retest day, where I needed someone with me, in case something happened medically, I did it on my own.

3. I helped my mother take down, clean, organize, and prep her room for this coming school year. I do this most every year. I don't mind. Her room is as close to my own classroom as I am going to get this year. I did the bulletin boards. I enjoyed it.

4. I've tried to maintain the lawns. During July, I felt my worst and hubby took up the slack for me. However, due to the hot July weather lawns only needed mowed once. I am now currently working my fricking tush off to maintain my lawn, my cousin's lawn, my aunt and uncle's lawn, and my parents lawn. If I got on the lawn mower at 8AM, I would be lucky to finish by 8PM. There is a HUGE amount of lawn to mow. The price of living in the country.

Honestly, I think this arguement stemmed from 2 things.

First, I think he is angry that I didn't rush right out and sign up to sub at the county schools. Right now, that is not an option. My body is so screwed up I don't want to be in a classroom responsible for small children when I don't trust myself. Until I get my health straightened out, I don't want to spread myself too thin.

I also think he is angry with my hubby. (And apparently I have to bear the brunt of his hissy fit) He was mad when hubby wasn't working. Now, he's mad that hubby is working. Good grief! It puts me in the middle constantly. My parents want the best for me, I get that. Hubby and I have our issues. He knows what things I feel he needs to work on and what I need from him. That being said, he is so good to me. He takes care of me. He thinks of me first, no matter how hateful I may become. He worries about me and does anything I might need from him. Yes, he could do better, but he is trying and that is fine with me. He's my husband and I feel like they want me to choose one or the other to be loyal to.

Last night was the first time in almost 3 years that I actually thought moving home might not have been such a good idea.

Yeah...bad night, that sums it up.

P.S. I just accepted my first work of the school year! Three days for one teacher in October. Leaves me plenty of time to mentally prepare. Teacher I like (she's a trip), school I don't like as much (I'll deal). Yipee!


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