Random Notions and Stories of Teaching

July 28, 2005

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

You know things are getting bad when your whining begins to annoy even you.

I'm not whining so much as
catastrophizing (I think it's a word...lol). Everything just keeps piling up and mentally I am just making it worse. I swear, ever since my dad called me a hypochondriac I've worried that he was right. So, in turn, I downplay everything. I tell myself I'm just overreacting. That's not good either.

Tuesday, I decided I would bite the bullet and go get my bloodwork done at the hospital. I was terrified (my first time EVER having blood work done...second time ever having blood taken). I registered and handed my paper to the nurse who said, "You know you are going to be here for 3 hours today, right?" Excuse me? Uh no. I decided since I had an ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday I may as well just make a day of it at the hospital.

Wednesday I arrive nice and early, well 9AM to begin the bloodwork. My new doctor wants me to have a glucose resistance test where they draw my blood, send it to the lab, get the results, make me drink some "cocktail" (their word), wait 2 hours, and then they draw my blood again. Oh, I am so looking forward to that. Plus some other tests for hormone levels and such (meanwhile, I am secretly terrified the testosterone results will come back incredibly high, thus why I am such a non-girl sometimes).

The nurse/tech whatever she is takes me back and tells me to sit in a cool blue chair. Kinda like a bar stool. This woman is wonderful! I will never again worry about getting blood taken at the hospital. It didn't hurt a bit. Apparently, I have great veins. (It's about time something went right!)

Then its back to the waiting room while they send the 5 vials of blood, one of which the results will be returning soon, to the lab. It should take about a half hour the woman tells me. Cool. I open my Jennifer Weiner book and start reading. Forty-five minutes later, I hear my last name being spelled. Uh oh...I'm screwed. Another nurse comes out to tell me they have to call my doctor for her approval before they can continue with the test. Ok, maybe that is just standard operating procedure. What do I know? (Secretly, I know what is going on, my blood sugar is already high and they want to see if the doctor wants to do the resistance test anyway).

After another forty-five minutes, the nurse comes to tell me that they are stopping the test because my blood sugar was already "a little high" and to call my doctor "soon". I should have asked how high, but didn't. Stupid me. So now, I worry about that. I was already trying to eat better in preparation to start the South Beach diet this week, but now fear has me super motivated.

I returned home because my ultrasound wasn't for another 2 hours. I drank a glass of water, watched the Price is Right, and ate a chicken pot pie. About all I care to eat currently as the problem that the 4 birth control pills a day were to fix is back...and pissed. Cramps...ohhhh the cramps. I keep taking Advil and hoping it works, but it doesn't.

At this point, we set off for the hospital (again). Haven't see the hubby yet, but knowing him, he's rushing home from The Club to be there for the ultrasound.

Now, those of you that have had an ultrasound have probably noticed that I have only had one glass of water. Apparently, I am ultra sensitive about going. My bladder was only 1/5 full (and I already had to pee). So the tech sends me out with a styrofoam cup and the orders to drink 6 more glasses of water, then he'd check me again. I drank 6 more glasses of luke warm, city water (gag), which the hubby (who had indeed beaten me back to hospital) so sweetly retrieved for me. Then the tech checked me again. 1/2 full. !@##%#@

That's it I thought, we're getting this done. So I drank 6 more. By 2 o'clock, I was READY TO GO. Then they come and take a woman that came AFTER me, back. WHAT!? You people don't understand, I have to go, now. Forty-five minutes later, we are entering dangerous territory. I am contemplating solving the problem and just starting over (but I really don't want to do that). My dear sweet hubby and my mother (who insisted on coming too) are now stopping everyone who goes by and asking them if I can please get in. Me? I'm on the verge of tears because I am so miserable. I can't believe I am going to lose it because I have to pee.

I don't know what they did or who they did it to, but I got in soon after we told the 5th person. Thank goodness! I was bargaining with God to get me through the ultrasound without wetting myself as it was. Which...thinking about it now, is pretty funny. I probably looked ridiculous.

Now, all I have to do is wait until the 25th, which is my next appointment. Twenty-eight more miserable days. I don't know if I can make it. All I want to do is lay in bed all day, but that is soooooooo boring. This "illness" is eating up my summer and PISSING ME OFF.

I want to be out pulling weeds in the flower beds that desperately need it. I want to be out playing with Lucy. I want to be out mowing the lawn, now that it finally needs it! I want to go out shopping with my mother.

It's like everything below my waist has gone to pot. And I'm only 24 years old! Good grief. I always hope for the best and expect the worst...and right now, a hysterectomy is the worst and believe me its all I can think about. Just make it go away.

And now...I'm babbling.

Argh!

3 Comments:

  • At 1:44 AM, July 29, 2005, Blogger Erin said…

    I have to tell you, I really feel for you about the ultrasound. I had one about a year ago. It was just awful. I drank like two gallons of water beforehand. Then then come in and just push on your bladder. Fun times. And then, the tech says to me "Well, you can go ahead and use the bathroom, but just go a little bit because they doctor may want to examine you." Yeah, just go a little bit she says....no problem. And, of course, after another excrutiating 40 minutes of waiting, the doctor didn't need to examine me. Anyways, sorry to hear about your pain. Hope all is well!

     
  • At 8:05 PM, July 29, 2005, Anonymous Carrie said…

    Sounds like a horrible day! So sorry you have to go through this and all those worries. And what is it with ultrasound people who seem oblivious to the fact that a full bladder is painful!

     
  • At 7:05 PM, August 03, 2005, Blogger leesepea said…

    Hope things are better soon!

     

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